December 2011
doctor: are you sexually active
me: what's that
Operator: 911, please hold.
Me: Stop murdering me for a sec; we're on hold.
Murderer: ok
me: mum, i'm so in love with my boyfriend
mum: really? i can't wait to meet him
me: me too
You know you're unpopular when you don't have to...
cloudkevin:
Joan: Am I losing Adam?
God: People don't really belong to each other, Joan, regardless of what contract they sign. They choose each other every day.